And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
