I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
