then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
