i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
