We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
