How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
