Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
