who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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