I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
