He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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