he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
