it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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