I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
