I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
