I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
