No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
