so explain again why im purple
no
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize