Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
