i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
