having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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