i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize