if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
