I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
