I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
