You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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