He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
