Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
