careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
