I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
