How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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