I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We are all done wearing pants today
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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