New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
