she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
