Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
