my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
