mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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