can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
