soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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