He told me they were just razor bumps!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
