How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
