road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
