fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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