Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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