is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
