Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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