I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
