some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Enjoy the penises
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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