dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
