I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
