if i can run in heels then i can drive
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
