i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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