Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
