just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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