When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he thought i was a dude.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
