ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
