He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
