Do vagina's smell?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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