you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize