Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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