saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
